My Brain Hurts

Being at a liberal arts school, and more specifically, a freshman at a film school, makes me feel incredibly unproductive. At least that's the epiphanous moment I had today. I usually encounter one a day so my epiphanies really mean nothing now.

According to this random article, and well, logic, stress is not good for your body. Stress is especially a villain for the brain, because what is stress if not an overload of mental pressure, overworking your brain? I would say excessive thinking qualifies as a crapload of mental pressure. So, if a equals be equals c, excessive thinking might make you an intelligent being but it could also very likely give you a brain stroke. That's why geniuses die young, right? Except Bill Gates is somehow still alive and kickin'.

Back to feeling unproductive. It's ridiculous that I feel unproductive when my brain is overworked at the same time. I guess this means all my mental efforts are not translating into productivity. My brain feels especially tired when I wake up in the morning after a night of violent, spectacular, exciting dreaming. Perhaps I should actually start a dream log so all the work my brain is doing involuntarily can serve a purpose.

Let me work, work, work! These behind-the-scene photographs of Fritz Lang films are so mesmerizing and surreal. I fell in love with this one instinctively:


Frau Im Mono (Woman in the Moon), 1929

Where is the distinction between fantasy and reality? The painted backdrop has completely merged with the crew and the rest of the film set, and the result, in the film and in the documentary footage, honestly takes you to a different world.

I want my future home to look like this. My furniture can be painted to camouflage themselves into the backdrop, whatever it takes. If I intentionally place myself in a fantasy world in my hours of lucidity, maybe my brain will stop working so hard when I'm sleeping. And rest with me as it is supposed to.

You brother, you are all thoughts
The rest of you are just bones and sinews
-Rumi